Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
