google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the condom got lost in my hair
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i now understand why vodka
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
