I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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