Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
