You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She even gives head with a lisp.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
