idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
