dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
