used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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