I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
