Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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