Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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