I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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