how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
