dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
