i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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