Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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