the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize
