She is in my trunk
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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