I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
