My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize