Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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