Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
