If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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