Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
