It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize