Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
