Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
