Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
