So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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