I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
