Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
