I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Nicole vs. Life
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
