You can't motorboat a personality
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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