Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
