Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
