I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize