that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize