i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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