Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
