Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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