I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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