just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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