Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
