I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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