problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
