I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
