How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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