I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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