Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
