does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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