no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
