Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
