I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
