Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
