There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
