It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
