I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
